Changes
by MH13
Summary: Casey runs into Alex as she's acting as Bureau Chief and has some choice words for her. O/A, O/C friendship. Technically a crossover with Conviction. Timelines are flawed but I think that's just how the show came through. See inside--
1. Chapter 1

(1) I don't really consider this "alternative universe" because according to Wolf, Conviction coincides with L&O SVU. I watched all the episodes of Conviction (I actually liked it) and I don't really remember a direct timeline given… I did leave me with a lot of questions regarding timelines and such though, and correct me if I am wrong.

(2) Shut up and just go with it. Some things in life don't make complete sense—this story's timeline is one of them. Actually in Conviction they reference 2006 so it's set during then which would make it season 7/8 I believe.

(3) They aren't mine.

(4) Thanks Heather-- I owe you.=)

--

Three years in the DA's office and I was still running errands like a bitch. I sighed heavily as I rode the elevator to the fifth floor. The soft ding brought me out of my sulking and I walked onto the deserted floor. I glanced at my watch and reminded myself that no one would be here at this time of night. If this was anything like my office as soon as six o'clock rolled around everyone scattered like rats in daylight.

I looked around for any sign of life before walking further onto the floor. I heard soft muttering down the hall and cautiously followed. As I approached I heard the voice become stronger, I couldn't help but recognize the voice yet I was unable to place it. I turned the envelope over in my hands hoping that I wasn't disturbing something. I knocked on the door that was open and saw a woman sitting muttering to herself facing the plate glass windows that exposed the high rise of the city. I stood silently at the threshold and waited as the woman turned her chair towards me.

"Alex?"

"Huh?" she asked as if coming out of a trance. She looked up her eyes meeting mine before muttering, "oh fuck."

It was hard to imagine that those beautiful lips uttered such a crude word. I was absolutely stunned to see Alexandra Cabot sitting behind a desk acting as Bureau Chief. I felt my mouth hanging and quickly tried to close it before drool came out.

I pieced together a sentence to stop the awkwardness that was lingering between us, "uh how long have you been Bureau Chief?" I asked noticing the gold name plate on her desk.

"Arthur called me and asked when I returned after the trial."

"I thought you went back into witness protection..."

"I did, Antonio and I were moved to a safe house in Virginia. He was put into foster care and adopted shortly after… I, uh, didn't know where to go, so I came back to New York."

"Does anyone know you're back in New York?"

"Yes," she said offering no more details.

"What about Elliot, Munch, Don and… Olivia?" I asked all but yelling. I saw the pain in Olivia's face at the mere mention of Alex. She had confided in me that they had once had a relationship before Alex was forced into witness protection, and that no woman since had compared to Alex. When Alex came back to testify, the chemistry between them was undeniable. I begged for my best friend to have some kind of closure, but it appeared unlikely since Alex never told Olivia she was back in New York.

Deep in my thoughts I didn't hear Alex timidly ask about the squad she left behind.

"I'm sorry what?"

"How are Elliot, Munch, Don and... Liv?" she asked looking down at her hands.

I followed her gaze and saw the huge engagement ring on her finger, "You're engaged?" How could Alex be engaged, she couldn't have been in New York for that long.

She absently moved the ring around her finger as if searching for an answer, "Yes, I'm engaged."

"How?"

"Does it really matter?" she asked in defeat.

"You broke her heart Alexandra Cabot! I hope to hell it was worth it because you'll never hear her admit it!" With that I spun on my heel and walked out of her office.

Her broken voice called to me as I walked back towards the elevator but I refused to turn around and acknowledge her. The damage was already done.

A soft hand touched my shoulder as the elevator called to the floor. I turned around but kept my hand on the door signaling my fading patience.

"How—how is Olivia?" She asked with desperation.

"Empty."

Her perfectly shaped lips quivered at my statement and words tried to form on her lips but I stopped her with a hand. "You know where to find her," was all I said hoping she'd realize the bread crumb I was throwing her.

I let the elevator door close and Alexandra Cabot disappear from my life once again. I knew the repercussions of her stay in SVU would always linger.


	2. Chapter 2

Long time no see with this story. I've been "dicking" around with it for awhile (no pun intended) and I've been itching to post it. All the mistakes are my own, and I don't own the characters. I like to think of this place as a "safe haven" of sorts because writing is an outlet to many so constructive criticism, advice, comments that are helpful I would love to hear.. everything else - save it.

Read the first chapter, it doesn't make much sense unless you do.

* * *

Fuming didn't begin to describe how I was feeling as I walked into work the next morning. I couldn't believe the audacity of Alexandra Cabot. I had heard she was pretentious, uptight and cold but after meeting with her during the Connor's trial I thought I saw a different woman. Evidently I was mistaken.

To return to New York after all this time and not say a word to your old colleagues, the people who you called your friends?

The people who put their careers on the line to keep the secret of you being alive?

The friends who attended your funeral, gave a eulogy in your name, in your honor?

I carelessly threw my briefcase onto the small sofa in my office as I muttered obscenities under my breath. My next favorite four-letter word caught in my throat as Olivia opened the door and peeked her head inside my office, "Case?"

"Liv," I breathed as my cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Hey," she said smiling as she pulled the door further open, "I just wanted to know if you had been updated on the Anderson case."

"I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to look it over, can you brief me, I had a long night last night."

Concern washed over her face and she pushed me into my chair and sat across from me, "what happened Casey?"

My mouth opened to spill my thoughts and feelings then closed as reality set in. Spilling my heart out to Olivia Benson was a meaningless gesture, she was still in love with Alexandra Cabot and that wasn't going to change anytime soon. The concern written across her face was purely platonic. I searched her features for a hint of something more and wasn't surprised to not see one. Guilt washed over me as the hurt and anger began to diminish. Always a bridesmaid never a bride.

I sighed and smiled tightly, "oh nothing just family stuff. So tell me more about the case."

"Milo's, tonight at seven, we'll drink our worries away," she said flashing her bright smile. "So this character Anderson," she continued putting on her detective face.

We sat at in a booth, enjoying the silence between us. I stared into my drink, knowing that Olivia was waiting for me to speak first. "I'm going to run to the bathroom real quick," I mumbled scooting out of the booth.

I fumbled with my hair in the mirror, like it mattered in the end. When I walked back I noticed a brunette sitting next to Olivia, well I should say nearly on top of Liv.

I slid into the booth with a smile, one that I had trained my face to make in situations like this. The woman did a trouble take between us and then took a visible scoot back.

"Casey," I said extending my hand across the table.

She shook mine before quickly excusing herself.

"That's the last time I pull that shit for you," I laughed as I watched the woman walk away.

"They're like fucking vultures tonight."

As much as it killed me I shrugged my shoulders and tried to smile, "she wasn't bad looking."

"Not interested."

I laughed to myself at the irony of our relationship. I was chasing her and she was chasing a ghost, and neither one of us were going to get what we wanted in the end.

* * *

It's short but I wanted to end it there. Press the button and review, let me know what you think please!


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the next installment, the chapters are a little short but it's not accidental where I end them. Trust me. I try not to make my life any more complex than it already is- but I'm trying to be sure to include aspects from Conviction along with SVU. Not to mention Casey and her own drama. This chapter left me feeling a little unsure so let me know how you like it.. especially the part with Alex.

* * *

I downed the rest of my drink and grabbed my coat, "it's getting late, you want to share a cab?"

The cab ride was silent, as we were both lost in our own thoughts.

I stepped out of the cab with a nod to Olivia who sat inside the car, "thanks, see you later."

I watched the cab speed away and took a deep breath as I took a step towards my apartment. Before my foot could touch the pavement I slipped and started to fall face first into the cement.

I closed my eyes waiting to feel the scrape of my hands on cement, wanting to feel something, and was surprised when instead I felt a slight jerking motion. "W—what?"

"Whoa- you were pretty close to face planting… you ok?" I heard a voice above me saying.

I opened my eyes and was met with a pair of green eyes, framed by tortoise shell glasses, "hello?"

I slowly stood up with the stranger and tried to get my wits about me. "Um, thanks." I said obviously confused.

"Aubrey, Aubrey Reeves," the woman said as she finally let go of me with a smile.

"Casey Novak. Thank you…" I said motioning my hands about trying to figure out how to describe this odd event.

"…For catching you? No problem. I'm pretty famous for saving damsels in distress." She said with a grin.

An awkward pause fell between us and I took a moment to size her up. She was my height, with curly black hair that fell to her shoulders and green eyes.

"It was nice meeting you, Casey Novak, good luck. Be sure to keep your eyes peeled for curbs… I can't be saving you all the time."

And with that she continued walking, I watched her turn the block and move out of sight. It was then that my cheeks turned pink and embarrassment came over me. I really needed to get my head out of the clouds. The honest part of me knew what that really meant… the rest of me just wasn't ready to admit it. Resigning myself to misery I walked the ten steps to my apartment building and inside. As I rode the elevator my mind went blank, on autopilot I opened my door, and walked to my room and fell face first onto my bed.

* * *

It was just easier to close my eyes.

That was the only thought going through my head as my fiancé hovered above me, kissing my neck, my breasts and finally sliding inside me. I shivered at how disgusted I was with myself, which of course he took as me being turned on and kissed up my body to my mouth. He breathed, "I love you," into my neck as he came and I did the same, I wondered if my lies would ever really stop. I felt in slow motion as he pulled me into his arms and soon fell fast asleep his breath hitting the back of my neck.

I lay silently and wondered who I had become. As a little girl I always thought that when I was older I would be in a dream marriage, a career woman… most of all, be happy. That wasn't the case on any account. I felt like I was truly losing control of myself in the past month, I had sex with Jim on my desk, saw Casey and talked about Liv, which stirred up a whole new set of emotions and had gotten engaged.

Silent tears fell to my cheeks and I gently pulled away from Robert. I walked to our shower and turned on the water, as hot as it would go. My white skin instantly screamed red as I stepped inside and tried to scrub away my emotions, fear and most of all shame.

I was sick of pretending to be someone I wasn't.

* * *

My phone jerked me out of my dreams and I searched blindly for it on the bed. Finally finding it I opened it and groggily said "hello?"

"Case?"

"Hey," I said slightly relieved to hear my baby sister on the phone and not someone from the office.

"Hey, how are you?"

I squinted my eyes at the clock next to me and then warily addressed my sister, "did mom put you up to this?"

"What?"

"Calling me, we both know how that woman is Amelia."

She burst into laughter and finally replied, "we are all worried about you Casey. What you see and do everyday is hard enough to read about in the papers I can't imagine what it is to live it."

"Feel bad for the detectives not me... I get a piece of the scum in court."

"Speaking of detectives…"

"No, we aren't speaking of detectives like that. So when are you coming to visit your big sister?"

"Well... I was actually going to come in tonight can I stay with you? Maybe we can go out tonight."

I rolled my eyes and reminded myself that Amelia was only 22. "sure, when will you be here?"

There was a knock at the door and I suspiciously looked at the phone, "Amelia Anne Novak you better not be knocking at my door."

I opened the door to my smiling sister, "what are sisters for?" she asked with a grin as she let herself in.

"If you weren't family your ass would be on the curb," I said as I pulled my sister into a hug. "Grab your stuff, you can sleep in the guest room." I started to walk into the living room expecting to hear her walk after me but was surprised when I turned around and realized she wasn't following.

"Amelia?"

I looked back and she was shuffling her feet in the doorway. I knew that face, I knew at that moment that this wasn't just an ordinary visit. I then noticed she had more than just a carryon, and the warm spring breeze she was letting into my apartment brought my sister and some drama.

"Amelia, we're going to have to talk about this…" I said somewhat at a loss for words.

"Casey… I don't know where to start. I just need to get out of Connecticut for a while."

"School?"

"I just finished my last final."

"Mom and Dad?"

"They've always thought you were the more responsible one, after all you are the oldest."

I rolled my eyes because I knew it was the truth and my parents would say that.

"Amanda?"

Tears welled up in her green eyes and she shook her head. I pulled her onto the couch with me and we sat there in silence for a while.

"It's an epidemic you know… the Novaks having their heart broken."

* * *

Press that button and review! Thanks.


	4. Chapter 4

A few notes prior to reading:

1. I tried to include scenes from 'Conviction' so bear with me. If you haven't seen the show I recommend watching it, but I'll give you an abridged version via this story. Let me know if it's getting confusing.

2. I don't usually write sex scenes, I'm not opposed to them but don't generally write it so.. be gentle. Especially seeing that it is heterosexual. I learn a lot from my best friend and her boy but seeing as I am a lesbian I don't have a first hand account. :) It's not overly graphic anyways so don't worry.

3. I think Casey needs a little love in this story too. I created another fictional character for the story, Aubrey, I figured why not write about what I know and low and behold a character is born. She belongs to me, her experiences, thoughts, feelings generally come from experiences I have. She was introduced in the first chapter but she is going to make more of an appearance throughout. If you have a question feel free to ask. I also took liberties on Casey's background but it's called 'fanfiction' for a reason.

4. The italics are quotes from the episode Savasana, I don't own Conviction. I don't own SVU either.

Enjoy!

* * *

Monday came just like I knew it would, but it still sneaks up on me every damn time. I groaned as I rolled out of bed thinking I was getting too old for this. I heard music in the kitchen and smelled coffee, what the hell was she doing up so early?

"Amelia?" I called as I walked into the kitchen.

"Yea? I made some coffee for you. I knew your grumpy ass cant live without it."

I didn't dignify that with a response, instead I just took the coffee cup from her hands. I took a sip and let the warmth flow through me, revive me.

"What are you doing today?"

"Well I thought I'd look around the city… maybe we could get lunch?"

I squinted at her, although she was 20 I didn't think heading out by herself was a great idea. "How about you come by for lunch, we'll tour the city together this weekend."

"Cool, I was also thinking about finding a job…" she said letting her sentence falter at the end.

I raised my eyebrows at her, "a summer job?"

"Sure." She said with a smile.

* * *

I let the cord twist between my fingers as I sat in my office chair, I was on the brink of hanging up when the line clicked and I heard "hello?"

"Hi," I said barely audible.

"Alex?"

I closed my eyes and sighed, "yes,"

As if sensing it was better not to ask there was a moment of silence and then, "what can I do for you?"

"Do you have any free time?" I asked trying to mask the shakiness in my voice.

"Sure, Alex."

"Is six too late?"

"No."

"Alright, see you then."

"Alexandra?" Jim asked, his voice icy.

I rolled my eyes and watched Jim Steele step into my office. I wondered how much he had heard of my conversation. Things between us have been awkward to say the least after he had fucked me on my desk.

"_Homicide numbers," Jim said handing me the papers and walking out._

"_Charges or defendants? I asked catching him at the door._

"_Defendants that's how it played Al, I'm sorry."_

_Resigned I asked, "where are we on the shaken baby case?"_

"_Two days away from indicting the father."_

"_What about the mother?"_

"_Looks like she's going to cooperate"_

"_She watched her boyfriend shake the life out of her baby she has to answer for that," I said not hiding the disgust in my voice._

"_We need her for a witness she's the only who saw what really happened."_

"_Indict her keep the pressure on."_

"_I disagree."_

"_With all do respect I don't really care," I threw back at him_

"_With all due respect?" _

"_Yea is there a problem here?"_

"_I don't appreciate being told how to run a case."_

"_It's my bureau Jim," I smartly snapped back at him._

"_I know you and Robert are having problems right now but—"_

_I couldn't believe the audacity of him, "this has nothing to do with that, do you understand?" I called as he began to walk towards the door, "Don't you walk away from me!" I commanded raising my voice while grabbing his arm._

_Jim shrugged off my arm, his anger finally boiling over. It was evident in his eyes as he seemed to be staring through me. Before I could speak he grabbed my face and pulled me to him, his anger, frustration reaching its breaking point as he poured it into the kiss. It electrified me, I felt alive, I pushed him away trying frantically to unbutton his shirt. Jim grabbed my suit and ripped it open, the buttons cascading around my office exposing my bra. My nipples bit against the lace and I pressed myself to him as he picked me up, shoving the files from my desk and laid me down on it. My skin seemed to be electrified and every touch awakened me, his hands skimmed up my thighs pushing my skirt up with it. He wasted no time pulling my lace thong down my legs and sliding inside of me. My head rolled back and I fisted my hands while he fucked me. I was desperate to lose myself in sensations as I felt him move his hips faster. _

"What do you need?" I asked shaking my head and the memory from it.

"Shaken baby case came back."

"Oh?"

* * *

I looked down at the torn piece of paper that Casey had scribbled on before she left with the precinct's address on it. I rode the elevator up to the third floor and cautiously stepped out. I felt like I was in some sort of dream world. This was definitely not where I imagined myself to be, and it was hard to imagine Casey here either.

Six people pushed past me as I tried to walk through the doors of the unit. I stood for a few minutes before I spotted Casey in an office talking. Before I could walk back out and sit down in a chair I was approached by a woman I immediately knew to be Olivia.

"Hi can I help you with something?" She asked looking suspiciously at me.

"I'm Amelia Novak, Casey's sister. We're meeting for lunch."

A smile broke out on her face and she said, "I knew you looked familiar, you're the spitting image of her."

"You should see our mother, she says it's like looking at old photographs of herself."

She laughed and said, "well come in, she's talking to the captain. I'll introduce you to everyone."

As we walked in the attention turned to us, "Everyone, this is Casey's sister, Amelia."

Everyone went around and gave an introduction. I spent some time talking to the detectives and instantly understood why Casey could like being here so much.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Casey come out of the office with the Captain. She stopped obviously confused. Her hands moved rapidly in a flash of gestures, to anyone else it was nonsense to me… it was a warning. I started to smile and saw her frown at me. Every one turned to watch Casey, who immediately put her hands down.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"Casey signs?" Olivia asked

"We all do," I immediately said a little on the defensive side, "I'm profoundly deaf in my left ear, our mother is profoundly deaf."

Everyone looked immediately to my left ear and I felt flushed.

Casey walked across the room and broke the awkward pause and said, "I see you met Amelia."

"She's visiting me for a bit, we're going to get lunch. I'll be back in an hour. Let me know if anything happens with the Anderson case."

I felt like a reprimanded child as we walked down the street, "I didn't say anything Case, give me a break."

"I know, sorry it's just tough out here."

"I see, man I haven't seen you sign like that in ages, Mom would be proud."

"Shut up, I sign with Mom at home. So what do you want for lunch?" I felt some of the guilt began to seep in, but tried to brush it away.

"You tell me."

"Alright, follow me."

When we were seated nestled into the corner of the little deli I bit my lip to stop myself from asking, I knew by the look on Casey's face I wasn't fooling her.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing…"

"Tell me."

"Well I can see why you're attracted to… her." I said carefully finishing my sentence.

"Christ, it's nothing really."

"Mhmm, so why not make a move?"

Casey closed her eyes to collect her thoughts, trying to figure out what to say. Casey was usually a closed book and I could tell this was uncharted territory.

"She's in love with a past ADA."

My face dropped, "oh."

"Yea," she said with a half smile.

"What happened to her?"

She sipped her coffee and spoke slowly, "the long and the short of it. She was put into witness protection after she was shot and Arthur Branch hired me. She had come back for the trial of the man that had shot her. She then just left… never to be seen again."

"Never to be seen again?"

"Well, and Amelia this goes nowhere ok?"

"Of course."

"Well I ran into her the other day," Casey whispered.

I nearly dropped my cup and had to set it on the table, "she's living in New York?"

"She's the bureau chief actually. I was asked to drop something off and saw her."

"What happened?"

"She's engaged to a man."

"Excuse me?"

"Yea I guess she's getting married."

"Did she ask about Olivia?"

"Yea."

"Club on Rye, tuna on wheat?"

"Huh?" We both asked as we looked up to see our waiter holding plates of food.

"Oh sorry, I'm tuna," I said taking the plate from him.

Casey took her plate and we ate in silence.

Although Casey and I had been close growing up there was always a side she reserved, I had always been scared of that side. Now I knew why.

* * *

The cab idled at the curb of the tall office building that held George's office. "Ma'am?"

"Oh sorry," I paid the driver and stepped out onto the sidewalk, I knew it was childish but I had called a cab, I didn't want any news to where I was going to get back to anyone at the office. My feet sunk into the plush carpet as I walked to the elevator and waited for it to call to the floor. I held my composure while I felt like bolting to the door.

* * *

I picked up my files and tried to clear my head as I walked to the courthouse. My mind was otherwise occupied as I climbed the steps up to the doors. Trying to clear my head once again, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. In doing so I missed a step and fell face first onto the steps. I felt the cold, rough cement scrap my palms and knee, "shit!"

"Are you ok?" I heard a familiar voice ask.

My cheeks turned crimson and I looked up, startled when I recognized who it was.

"Here let me help you up," she said with a smile.

"Thanks," I said still feeling embarrassed.

A smile spread across her face as we walked side by side up the remaining stairs, "I told you I couldn't catch you all the time Casey."

I couldn't help but laugh at the woman, "What?" I said feigning confusion, "I thought you were my knight in shining armor!"

"I'm here to do my job Miss Novak," she said straightening and using a professional voice.

My face must have shown my confusion because she smiled, "I'm an interpreter."

"Oh wow, Spanish, French, Arabic?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"American Sign Language."

"Really?"

"Yea, why are you here?"

"I'm assistant district attorney Casey Novak."

"Wow."

She smiled and I couldn't help but smile back, "it was nice seeing you Casey. Keep your head up."

* * *

Review please! Let me know if you like the new character and the Conviction scene


	5. Chapter 5

Curiosity got the better of me and I snuck into the courtroom.

I sat in the back of the courtroom and watched Casey deliver her closing arguments. The passion was evident on her face as she eloquently finished and sat back down in her chair.

I watched the jury then judge file out. I sat and waited until the room pretty much emptied out. Casey gathered her things and started to walk out, she scanned the room and she stopped when she saw me.

She had the Cheshire cat grin on her face and looked down, "hmm I'm not falling over my two left feet, are you a premonition that I will be shortly?"

"I thought maybe you would like to get lunch."

She couldn't quite hold the surprise in her face, as if waiting for me to tell her I was kidding.

"Sure."

I stood up and smiled, letting her lead the way from the courtroom. We walked in silence to the café just down the street.

"You did a nice job in there ADA Novak." Emphasizing the formal title.

"Please you sound like my boss, Casey is fine. You know the girl who you've saved," she mockingly looked to the ceiling pretending to count, "twice now…"

"Geez Novak, you keep mentioning this whole saving ordeal, I'm beginning to think you owe me your life."

"Maybe I do," she said picking at the food in front of her with a smile. I could see a flash of uncertainty pass over her but she covered it with a smile.

"How about you let me take you to dinner and we call it even," I said watching her face closely.

"Sounds like a plan," she said with a nervous smile.

Silence enveloped us as we stared at our plates. She broke the silence and asked, "How's the interpreting—"

Her cell phone rang and she rolled her eyes, mouthing sorry as she answered "Novak."

I watched her turn slightly and listen on the other end. As she listened I noticed her eyes close concentrating on the words coming through the phone.

"Ok I'll be there," she said hanging up the phone. She addressed me with a sad smile, "I have to go I'm very sorry." She pulled out her wallet and put money on the table.

"Casey, thanks for lunch. I'll call you about dinner tomorrow afternoon."

* * *

"Miss Novak, you have a call."

"Ok, thanks Carol," I said as I pressed the blinking 'line 2' button.

"ADA Novak."

"There we go with the professional titles."

Oddly enough I couldn't keep the smile off my face… what the hell. "Hey, sorry. How are you?"

"Good, you?"

"Same shit new day 'bout sums it up." I said with a halfhearted smile I was glad she couldn't see.

I nervously slide my fingers through the cord and waited for her response.

"Well I was just calling to cash in my dinner, I thought it might make your day a little better."

"Are you always this much of a smartass?"

"Always."

"I'd love to, when?"

"Saturday night, I'll meet you at Rita's at seven."

"Sounds good, thanks."

I didn't realize I was smiling until I hung up the phone and turned my chair around to see Olivia Benson in front of me with eyebrows raised.

"Hey Casey, you ok?"

"Fine, what can I do for you Liv?" I said trying to wish away the blush on my cheeks.

"Just wanted to let you in on some new information that Elliot and I got."

"Ok, shoot." I said offering her a seat and grabbing a pen.

* * *

I opened the door and saw the chair turned the other way, I went to leave but heard Casey softly say, "are you always this much of a smartass?"

I could read between the lines and couldn't help but raise my eyebrows. Since when did Casey flirt like that? And with who? More importantly when did I care?

"I'd love to, when?"

"Sounds good."

When the chair turned around there was a flush to Casey's cheeks and a smile.

Feeling like a kid caught in the candy store I asked, "Hey Casey, you ok?"

"Fine, what can I do for you Liv?"

"Just wanted to let you in on some new information that Elliot and I got."

I watched her inwardly tried to straighten herself as she grabbed a pen from her desk.

I watched Casey, as if seeing her for the first time. I spent so much time comparing her to Alex I wasn't able to see the woman underneath. I couldn't help but wonder what I had missed.

* * *

I looked at the clock and groaned, where did the time go? This case has been kicking my ass over the last few days. I threaded my hands through my hair one more time trying to refocus myself.

"I remember those days."

I knew that voice and slowly looked up, I was in no mood for a reunion. "What do you want Alex?"

She took off her glasses as she arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow. Not waiting for an invitation she sat. Seeing Alex again only brought up my insecurities and I shifted in my chair. I tried to ignore that little voice inside me that said Alex was prettier, more self-confident, a better prosecutor.

"Ever heard of the twelve steps?"

"You're a recovering addict?"

"Not exactly."

"Enlighten me Alex," I said, I wasn't playing games.

"We all lie to ourselves, I just passed the point of no return."

She didn't wait for my response and just continued, "I realize that I have let others dictate my path in life. I cared about making it big, about whose shoulders I had to step on to get to the top."

Her next few words struck me like a slap to the face, "I know what you're thinking… 'you're just now realizing this Cabot?'"

I couldn't help but smile at her, nodding for her to continue.

"So I find myself here, in my old office, thanking you for helping me come to that realization."

"Well as great of a person I am, I'm not sure how I was able to do that."

"Your words really resonated with me Casey. It was something that I knew but sometimes you need someone to say them."

"No big wigs wanting to burst the Cabot bubble?"

"No one wants to piss you off when you have family in high places."

"I wouldn't know."

"From what I hear you're doing a damn good job Casey."

"My feet will never be big enough to fill your heels Cabot."

"Somehow I don't think that's a compliment, Novak."

"Walk a mile in my shoes and you'll understand."

"Ouch"

I sighed heavily, "Sorry that was uncalled for. It's been hard here Alex."

"I know Casey, I remember the long nights, the heartache I exposed myself to, the wrath of the detectives who no matter what I said and did felt I was fighting against when the chips fell in the wrong direction."

"Sorry Alex."

"It's ok, I know how tough it is. I hear you're the trouble maker in the DA's office."

"If they protected their ADAs better maybe I wouldn't be."

"You're telling me."

"Listen, maybe we could get lunch sometime." She asked, I swear I saw uncertainty cross her face.

"Sure, I'd like that."

"I know it's not my business but am I the first person you've made amends with?"

She smirked, letting a little vulnerability through, "I'm heading there next."

"Good, good luck Alex. Please keep in touch."

She walked around the desk and hugged me, I was surprised but kissed her cheek.

When I returned home Amelia was waiting for me in her pajamas. "Hey, I left some chicken in the fridge for you."

"Thanks, so how was your day?" I asked kicking off my heels and curling my feet beneath me on the chair.

"Good, I got a job."

"Oh?"

"Waitress," she said smirking

"Christ Amelia, are you now pursuing acting too?"

"No, it's just down the street I thought it would be good."

"At Ernie's?"

"Yea."

"I'm glad, I think this will get your mind off things," I carefully said.

"Is that your subtle way of asking how I'm doing?"

"No I'm your big sister I'd just come out and ask if I wanted to."

"I'm ok, she emailed me today."

I raised my brows, "and?"

"And what?"

"And what did you do?"

"Nothing."

"Ok, listen Amelia, if you need to-"

"I know Casey, I'm just not ready"

"I understand." I said biting my tongue from asking more questions.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Please review. I'm trying to add scenes from Conviction.. do you guys like the idea of scenes from Conviction regarding the cases and the people (Alex, Jim, Robert and the ADAs) or no?


End file.
